How to Make Your Beard Softer

How to Make Your Beard Softer

“I’m not going to kiss you again until you shave off that beard.”  That is what my girlfriend, Julia, said to me one day about 3 years ago.

I was a bit shocked when Julia said it.  I mean, I had a beard for the entire 4 years we were dating.  But she was dead serious about it.  “I’m tired of getting scratched by that thing when we make out.”

So this was a real dilemma for me.  I consider myself quite the rugged fellow – I love my beard.  My beard defines me.  It gives me character.  I even gave my beard a name: LeGruff.  So I didn’t want to shave it off.

But I really, really loved making out with Julia, and I didn’t want to give that up either.  So what was a guy to do?  I honestly had no idea, so grasping at straws, I said to Julia, “Give me 30 days.  If I can’t make my beard softer and easier on you, I’ll shave it off.”  She agreed.

A Lack of Answers

That night, I began to research furiously about how I could best go about softening my beard.   But 3 years ago, there was and still is a dearth of information online on how to make your beard softer.  So I went through a bit of a trial and error approach trying to find something that worked.

What didn’t work for me was leave-in hair conditioner.  My thought processes was that beard hair must be just like regular hair, right?  So I should use the same hair products on it.  Nope.  Sure, leave-in conditioners may help improve the smell of your beard, but it won’t make it soft.

Understand What Makes Your Beard Rough

Before I found an answer to my problem, I had to step back and understand what was making my beard rough to begin with.  I realized that my beard was rough for 2 reasons.   Reason number 1: my beard was as dry as the desert.  There was no moisture to my beard hair follicles.  Reason number 2: I had split ends and knots forming in my beard.

So a two-pronged problem called for a two-pronged solution.

Two Simple Steps to Soften Your Beard

To make your beard softer, you’ll need to pick up a quality beard oil and a quality beard balm.  Make sure you know the differences between the two types of beard grooming products.  Here are the precise steps to follow:

Step 1

In the morning, wash you face with warm water.  Then, add a few drops of the beard oil in your hand and massage it into your beard.  Washing with warm water opens your pores and allows the beard oil to really soak in.  Rub the beard oil in your hands and then comb in throughout your entire beard with your hands and fingers all the way down to skin on your face.  What the beard oil does is add moisture to your beard.

Step 2

At night, after you shower, apply a very small amount of beard balm into your beard.  Rub the beard balm between your palms to heat it and make it workable.  With an even spread of beard balm in the hands, work it throughout your beard from the roots to the end of the follicles.  Where the main purpose of the oil is to add moisture, the beard balm will address the split ends and knots.

Follow this exact process for 14 days to make your beard softer and you will absolutely be pleased with the results.  After all, it worked for me – Julia is now my wife.

Guest article by Stephen Joseph, a beardologist and co-founder of

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DanOLATOYE OLADIMEJIBobJosh P.Cody Recent comment authors

I have searched everywhere when it comes to my beard game. I’ve had a full beard for as long as 9 years. The first 4 years were great but then I started adding texturizers to make it soft. I have very coarse African hair.
Now my hair withers everyday. I tried shea butter for a long time and some oils but it only softens for a few hours and then continues to shed. My hair is very curled in and when you pull it’s long and very brittle breaks especially from the follicle. Help…

Josh P.
Josh P.

Great article to support the beardsmen like myself. Coarse beard happens to most of us and fortunately, as you noted in this post, there are ways to keep our beard healthy and presentable. I’ve been following a beard grooming routine that includes shampoo, oils and brush and I’ve invested in Seven Potions products. I’ve got to say that there’s a considerable difference before & after using beard care products. I’ve become quite obsessed with walking around with my brush in pocket :)


I found aussie mega moist hair products to do the trick for me

Duane CALL
Duane CALL

When growing a longer beard (my last one was a third of the way down my chest) how is the best way to apply the oil, balm and wax? Obviously I think I would use more product; but do I comb it in, put a glob on and then just work it through my beard until it is all over the hairs of the beard (Seems like a lot of work). I am trying now to grow the longest beard I have ever had so this is an important subject to me. This is the first time I will have… READ MORE

Ray C. Johnson
Ray C. Johnson

Where can I buy these products I live in Las Vegas, NV please tell me where I can get these products

Darius Brown
Darius Brown

You can buy most of these products, if not more from Amazon.