As of November 1st, 2015, I finally achieved a long held goal, surpassing a milestone that I had previously fallen short on numerous times. It took strength of will, conviction, and a place of employment with lax grooming standards. Many times I was tempted to back out, but each time, my doubts were drowned out by a prospect so majestic that the word itself began to ring around my head like a catchy song that I couldn’t shake. The milestone in question? The Yeard.

The Yeard is, as you have probably...